Tips on working with High Net Worth Families

Written by Anonymous

Do you ever feel alone working as a Nanny? Do you ever feel completely isolated? Have you ever felt invisible? Have you ever felt like you are somewhere but you are not really there?

Working with a High Profile Family sometimes feels like this. Yes, I know, you have all read the articles about Nannies making lots and lots of money, traveling on private jets, wearing mini skirts and high heels, but working for High Net Worth Families isn’t always as glamorous as the rest of the world wants you to believe.

Do Nannies who work with HNW families receive a six figure salary? Most likely, but what they are required to deal with on a daily basis is not your average 9 -5 job. Don’t get me wrong, I love my job but there are so many misconceptions about what this kind of work entails. HNW Nannies work very long days, they often work nights. We often work rota shifts, i.e 4 days on and 4 days off. This often means there is another Nanny who works on opposite shifts as you, and hopefully is on the same page with regards to routine, consistency and approaches. We deal with the ever changing dynamics of the family we work with and most likely the ever changing dynamics of a whole team of outside contractors (security, cooks, housekeepers, drivers, etc).  We take care of our charges, schedules, diets and playdates. I have in the past also been responsible for Doctor visits, school choices, Parent Teacher Conferences, clothes, vacations, immunizations and a whole lot more. When I say I was responsible for, I mean the parents were not involved.

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Working as a Nanny is isolating and lonely at the best of times, if we don’t make the effort to meet others, we spend our entire day talking to our charges. This is all fine and dandy but we need some adult interactions in our lives. Working with a HNW Family is isolating and lonely times 100, even if you do befriend another Nanny or any adult, you cannot talk about your job so the conversation  becomes very stiff and one sided. If you do work with a team you are still not allowed to speak to others about your job, which can make for a very interesting conversation.

Not only is it lonely and isolating, I also feel that it can make you feel invisible, as if you are living a life through a foggy pane of glass. Maybe not all other Nannies and Mannies in my position feel this way, it would be interesting to hear how other HNW Nannies/Mannies feel about this.

I have been so invisible that I have entered foreign countries and my passport hasn’t been stamped, I have been to remote and beautiful locations and nobody has known that I have been there, I have attended very important events but my name is not on the guest list. Why? Because as a Nanny to HNW Families, I am invisible. I am here to help make my charges’ lives run smoothly, I am here to ensure that the children are seen at their best, I am here to support, plan, deliver the best possible care to my charges and their extended family.

Have I:

  1. met Presidents of nations? Yes
  2. had dinner with Princes and Princesses and other foreign dignitaries? Yes
  3. stayed in celebrities’ homes? Yes
  4. been invited to celebrities’ homes to ring in the New Year? Yes
  5. been interviewed for articles by magazines? Yes. Have I conducted such interviews in the bathroom of my hotel room because my charges were sleeping in my bed in my room? Yes ( sounds glamorous, right??)

Can I discuss this information with anyone? No, because as the Nanny of HNW Families you are not allowed to discuss what happens within the household. You are bound to strict confidentiality rules, you are being paid to respect the privacy of your clients. I truly believe this is for the best, but it is very difficult to form relationships.

So, if you are applying for a position working with a HNW Family, keep in mind the following:

  1. You will be compensated well (in most cases)
  2. You will have to give up your personal life (in most cases)
  3. The more you are paid, the more you will have to deal with
  4. You will be exposed to exciting experiences you would never have imagined you would be part of (flying in helicopters and private jets, having breakfast in one state, lunch in another and dinner in yet another, etc. etc.)
  5. You will be expected to do more than childcare (in most cases)
  6. Your compensation covers the family’s need for privacy and confidentiality, please respect this
  7. Most HNW Families are very formal, so the transition may not be an easy one

My advice to anyone entering the HNW world is:

  1. Be organized
  2. Be prepared for anything
  3. Don’t take things personally, you need to be thick skinned!
  4. Be assertive
  5. Have FUN!

Do you feel the same way? Do you have opposing views or want to add something you feel I missed? Please leave comment here or on our Facebook Page  or on Instagram to Twitter

9 thoughts on “Tips on working with High Net Worth Families

  1. Omg, yes, yes, yes..I love my job but it can be so isolating at times..it’s hard to explain to people how I feel..I work long hours, nights , weekends, it can be very difficult to maintain relationships (forget about romantic ones) . I’ve been blessed with awesome families and kids, but sometimes it really does take a toll

  2. Margaret, I am pleased you feel the same way as the author, I know I can relate to what she has written. Thanks for reading and commenting.

  3. My job is exactly the same, but I love it…yes its hard at times and for me the loneliness is difficult but you do get use to it after a while.
    But think long and hard before you accept a position like this as it can be tough and like the article says you do have to be thick skinned 😀

  4. Well said Nicola, I am so pleased you are enjoying your job, I love one too but I think you need to be a well balanced person in order to be able to deal with it.

  5. Very good advise. Also why I don’t work for HPF. I like going home at the end of the day. Though my days are still isolated. I have a family support out side of work hours

  6. Thanks for commenting Kenda, nannying for any family can be isolating and lonely.

  7. Loneliness is definitely something no one talks about when referring to a nanny or childcare job, and not only for HNW families. I think this is true also for stay at home mom. Sure you are always busy, juggling with the many demands trying to fill the day with funny activities to entertain your little ones (which wants all your love and attention.) but at the same time you lost the sense of yourself outside the relationship as a nanny, and you feel a little lost and alone. You spend half of your day talking with a child and the other half with other nanny friends talking about your children (even if they are not yours). The truth is that being a good nanny or a good mom is very tough and yet so beautiful and rewarding that it makes you go over this loneliness. For once in our life we put someone else ahead of us. Some people may call it isolation because it is forced by the family or the rules of the job, but when it comes natural it is the most beautiful thing.

  8. Very well said Nostalgic Nanny, thank you. Nannying is the most rewarding job I have ever had but it is very lonely, isolating and tough at times.

  9. How can you be such an important part of the development of their little ones but mean nothing . Do you get praise at least so boost your mental?

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